I have had it for quite a while now. I thought I was hiding it pretty well, but, apparently I wasn't. You see, Friday, right as I was wrapping up a newborn shoot I started feeling pretty lousy. Achy, sneezing, back killing me. I figured it was allergies combined with my usual back issues. By the time I made it home I could barely make it out of the car and to the couch. I was SO sick and in SO much pain. And all I could think about was how much work I still had to do before the end of the month. And I broke. I just started crying - you know, the snot everywhere, bawling your eyes out kind of crying. My husband admitted that the work load I was carrying was too much for me and for our family. I barely had time for them - I was always in front of a computer or at my scrapbook table. I was always stressed. I was always two seconds away from missing a deadline.
That night I made the difficult decision to let go of several of my design teams and to cut back on the amount of photography sessions in the future. With that decision came this feeling of relief. Of feeling like I could breathe again...like I could manage things again. I felt good. I didnt' realize how heavy I had been feeling until I let go of things.
For now I'm keeping the blog, but, I can't make any promises of constant updates. I refuse to let it be something that I feel I HAVE to do and therefore get stressed out about it. The stress has been too much for too long.
Today, I stepped outside with Addison for a brief few minutes (I'm still not 100% better) and did a "session" with her. She had been asking me for weeks and I kept telling her soon...that mommy had too much work to do. I refuse to let that happen again. Refuse. She was SO happy to have that camera on her and to have my undivided attention, even though I was coughing and sneezing.
Thanks for sticking with me....♥♥♥
Oh, honey. I totally understand your feelings. I've been there too - way too many times. I'm glad you feel such relief - that's so important! Good for you for realizing what you needed to do!!
Posted by: Rebecca Lovell | April 02, 2012 at 12:15 PM
Oh, and I hope you feel much better VERY soon!!
Posted by: Rebecca Lovell | April 02, 2012 at 12:16 PM
Hooray for you! You MUST take care of yourself and pay attention to these signs -- believe me -- I didn't and I had a good old fashioned nervous breakdown -- now called "a major depressive incident". Three years ago and I am still clawing my way out of it!
Posted by: Queen Mary | April 02, 2012 at 12:24 PM
We will be here when ever you feel like posting your yummi layouts ;)
Posted by: Maria Therese | April 02, 2012 at 12:49 PM
I'm glad you were able to step aside & see what was really best for you. I hope you still find time to post your lovely layouts.
Posted by: ginny | April 02, 2012 at 05:22 PM
Sometimes we forget that we can say NO and it will be OK. Feel better.
Posted by: Rhonda Merry | April 02, 2012 at 06:20 PM
(((hugs))) Good for you! I'm sure that was hard, but it will be so worth it in the long run. Becca :-)
Posted by: Becca | April 03, 2012 at 08:54 AM
I'm sure that was a tough decision for you! But it will totally be worth it.
Posted by: Marcy | April 03, 2012 at 09:43 PM
Hi Jaime. Just wandered over here from the first post of Shimelle's online scrapping weekend. Love your LO for the first challenge!
Sometimes I think we all think we're supposed to be super woman. That we SHOULD be able to do it all. We only end up making ourselves sick with that attitude. Learning to say No is an important skill, especially when we have small people around. You don't get a second chance to have these years with your kids. Life is too short to spend your time beholden to other people. Well done on being able to step back and say enough is enough.
Looking forward to reading your blog and seeing what people come up with for your challenge.
xMx
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OOh...Jaime..I can totally relate right now! I love your work, girl, but I am so glad that you are doing what is right for you and your family.
Alicia
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