I suck at coming up with clever titles. I draw a blank every single time.
I have a lot on my mind right now. Mostly my father's health. We will know more tomorrow morning after he has a sonogram on his abdomen. The waiting is what I hate. I just want to know so that we can move on to the next step of his treatment. On the other hand, there's a part of me that doesn't want to know. That doesn't want to face that reality. I don't know if I will ever be ready for it. I want to do whatever it takes so that we can make him comfortable. Right now he's suffering. Watching someone you love suffer? It's gut wrenching and maddening. It makes me want to scream in frustration. Tomorrow will change things...we will know then what we are dealing with. We will know if we are dealing with a 90% mortality rate or not. For the past 5 years he has been in bad shape, in one form or another. Everytime we adjust to something, his health detoriates. It's been a never ending cycle of ups and downs. And he's tired. So, so tired. He's been suffering for way too long. If you can spare any prayers, positive thoughts, blessings, anything...please send some his way. I would appreciate it more than I can express.
I know that this post is kind of a downer...I needed to get this out. To get it out of my head, off my chest and off my heart. If anything, it has made me realize how important it is to embrace the every day moments of life. To hold onto them, to cherish them, to document them. It has made me realize that we aren't guaranteed anything in this life. It has made me more aware of how fragile life is.
It has made me want to embrace life more. To live as if I don't have another moment to spare. To love like I don't have another moment to spare.
In lighter news, I know I promised to share who I will be guest designing for...but, I can't until the blog post goes live - I'm sorry! As soon as it does I will :) CHA has thrown everyone's schedules for a loop, but hopefully I can reveal very soon!
Now that I have unloaded on you (sorry!) I will leave you with a photo (because a post feels naked without them!) An every day moment in our house...the girls watching Kickin' It while I edit...I love our couch and living room. It is our central family space where we all hang out together. I love these every day, simple moments.